Gregory Bateson
“A system cannot understand itself without stepping outside of itself”
This quote hits me a lot because it shows how hard it is to really
see something when you are inside it. I notice it all the time in daily
life, in friendships, relationships, work environment, whatever system
you are in. When you are part of it you get shaped by it, and that makes
it almost impossible to see straight. The more it fucks with you, the
harder it is to step out.
That is why people say “think outside of the box.” when they want you to
create something smart. The box is the system you are stuck in.
Everybody inside is spinning around, trapped in the same rules and
bullshit, so when you step out and see it from the outside, whatever you
come up with looks genius. But really, you just broke free for a moment
and saw what most people never see because they are too busy being
fooled over inside the system. That is why a psychologist works. They
are not trapped in your head, they stand outside and throw the mirror
back at you so you can see your own stuff without all the emotions
messing up your thinking. Same thing Einstein said in his book about
relativity: you can only understand motion if you compare one frame to
another, you can never get it from sitting in just one. Same with
relationships: you only really get what was going on when you finally
detach, when you take distance, when the feelings cool off and you can
finally look at it without being dragged by it. Workplace politics are
the same again. Everything feels personal and messy. You step away, go
on holiday, and suddenly you see the games people are playing, the power
grabs, the fake alliances. Things you could not see because you were too
wrapped up in it. Systems obscure themselves from the inside. But once
you step out, whether through distance, another person, or just taking a
break, the patterns show up, the bullshit clears, and the things that
were interfering with your thoughts come into view. This is when you are
most clear in your head into taking a decision and coming out with a
solution that stands out from the expected.